A relationship break up is usually a pre meditated act.
This means that prior to the relationship ending one or both partners will have given some consideration to the future of the relationship and what actions they wish to take.
It is highly unlikely that a person would just wake up & decide to end their relationship. A relationship break up usually occurs due to a lacking in one of the five fundamental areas that are needed in a healthy relationship. You can prevent a relationship break up or save your relationship by working on developing these five key areas.
In my recent post The 5 Main Causes of a Break Up I discussed the five pillar model for love which detailed the key elements that are needed in any successful relationship. This post will address the first of those points:
The Lack of Appreciation
Many relationships start to experience problems when one or both partners start to feel a lack of appreciation and believe their efforts are being taken for granted. Within a relationship it is natural for one partner to want to please the other and small tokens of gratitude are usually all that are needed to resolve these issues.
When one partner does not feel appreciated they may begin to look for those feelings from other people and this is usually where the problems arise. Many affairs begin out of a feeling of lack of appreciation and the usual result of this is a relationship break up.
One area where people make commonly make a mistake is when buying their partner a gift or present. When people get this wrong it can lead to their partner feeling unappreciated.
When to buy a gift
The first part people tend to get wrong is when to buy a gift.
There will be occasions such as birthday’s, Valentines Day or Christmas when people in relationships buy gifts for each other. I am not suggesting for one minute that you don’t continue to do this but I would suggest that you don’t make this the only time you buy your partner a gift.
A gift can be a great way of showing your partner that you really do appreciate them. The key to giving a gift to show your appreciation is to do it randomly and unexpected. People tend to expect a gift for their birthday and they will assign less personal value to this than a random present. A gift given at random with a little note saying thank you is much more powerful and will make your partner feel very appreciated.
What gift to buy
The second part that people get wrong is what gift to buy!
There is no doubt that when it comes to this point, the old saying “It’s the thought that counts” really does matter. If you give your partner a gift and they say this – then this is a good indication you have got it wrong and completely stuffed up!
When somebody says “It’s the thought that counts” they either mean:
A. It’s the fact that you thought of me as an individual and your partner that counts
B. It’s the fact that you never thought of me at all that counts
When choosing a gift for your partner you should aim to choose something that is personal and has a valued meaning to them. Maybe they have told you about something they have always wanted or about something they lost when they were younger? Personalised gifts are a great way of showing your partner that although you may not say it regularly you really do appreciate what they do for you.
Here is a great list of gift giving websites to get you started:
- The Gift Experience
- My Last Rolo
- Find Me a Gift
- Letterbox Love
- Fab Stuff
- Personalised Gift Ideas
- Treat Her
- Treat Him
- The Personalised Gift Shop
- Gone Digging
- A1 Gifts
Showing your partner you really do appreciate them is the first step to preventing a relationship break up.